Couples Therapy
Couples therapy provides a safe space to address issues, whether you’re facing a major crisis or simply want to improve communication.
Couples & Marital Therapy:
Rebuild and Strengthen Your Connection
Every relationship has its ups and downs, and couples therapy provides a safe space to address issues, whether you’re facing a major crisis or simply want to improve communication. From overcoming trauma like infidelity to re-aligning on parenting, addiction, or emotional struggles, I’m here to help you both rebuild trust and deepen your bond. Sometimes, there is no dramatic shift in the relationship, but over time communication and trust have merely eroded, and much of the joy has faded.
Worried that opening up might make things worse? It’s a common concern, but most couples find that working through issues in a guided setting strengthens their understanding and love. Whether you’re married, engaged, or just looking to strengthen your relationship, therapy can help you reconnect and avoid future pitfalls.
Expect a comprehensive assessment of your relationship, setting the stage for shared goals that guide us through the therapeutic process together.
Reasons Couples Might Enter Cognitive/CBT Therapy
- Communication Breakdown:
One of the most common reasons for seeking therapy is chronic miscommunication. Couples may find that they frequently argue, feel misunderstood, or are unable to express their emotions clearly, leading to frustration and resentment. - Trust Issues:
Infidelity, dishonesty, or past betrayal can significantly damage trust within a relationship. Cognitive therapy helps address the cognitive distortions around trust and works toward rebuilding emotional security and reliability between partners. - Emotional Disconnect:
Couples may feel emotionally distant from one another, no longer sharing intimate thoughts or emotions, leading to feelings of loneliness or neglect. CBT can help identify the underlying beliefs or behaviors contributing to this disconnection. - Frequent Conflict or Escalating Arguments:
Some couples may enter therapy because their conflicts escalate quickly or they feel stuck in a cycle of arguing without resolution. CBT focuses on helping partners understand their triggers and manage conflict more constructively. - Life Transitions or Stress:
Major life changes, such as having a baby, moving, financial stress, or career changes, can strain relationships. Couples may need support in adjusting to these changes and managing stress together. - Unmet Needs and Expectations:
Unrealistic or unspoken expectations can lead to disappointment and frustration in relationships. CBT helps couples explore their expectations of one another and negotiate realistic, shared goals for their relationship. - Differences in Parenting Styles:
Parenting can create tension in a relationship, especially when partners disagree on discipline, education, or values. Cognitive therapy addresses how these differences are communicated and managed, promoting healthier co-parenting dynamics. - Sexual or Intimacy Issues:
Couples facing sexual dissatisfaction or a decline in intimacy may seek therapy to explore and address the cognitive and behavioral factors contributing to their difficulties.
Cognitive Therapy/CBT for Couples: Process
- Initial Assessment:
The therapist conducts an assessment of the couple’s relationship dynamics, identifying core issues such as communication problems, unresolved conflicts, or harmful thinking patterns. Both partners share their perspectives, and the therapist gauges their commitment to change and collaboration in therapy. - Identifying Cognitive Distortions and Patterns:
Similar to individual CBT, the therapist helps each partner recognize negative thought patterns, or “cognitive distortions,” that contribute to relationship problems. Examples include:- Mind reading: Assuming what the other partner thinks without asking.
- Catastrophizing: Expecting the worst-case scenario in every disagreement.
- Blaming: Assigning all responsibility for problems to the other partner.
- Behavioral Strategies:
Couples are taught techniques to change problematic behaviors and improve relationship satisfaction. Behavioral interventions might include active listening exercises, communication skills training, conflict resolution strategies, and scheduling positive activities together (e.g., date nights or shared hobbies). - Reframing Thoughts:
Each partner learns how to challenge and reframe negative or irrational thoughts about the relationship or their partner. For example, instead of thinking, “They never listen to me,” one might reframe it as, “Maybe they didn’t understand my concerns, and I need to clarify them.” - Improving Emotional Regulation:
Couples are guided in managing their emotional responses to conflict. By identifying triggers and learning healthier coping mechanisms, partners can reduce reactive behaviors like anger, shutting down, or defensiveness. - Homework and Practice:
Homework assignments are common in CBT for couples. Couples might be tasked with practicing communication techniques, keeping thought diaries, or engaging in positive interactions during the week to build relationship skills between sessions. - Feedback and Ongoing Adjustment:
Throughout therapy, the couple reflects on their progress with the therapist’s guidance. Feedback is critical, as the therapist helps them fine-tune their cognitive and behavioral adjustments to ensure long-term relationship improvements.
Ultimate Goals of Cognitive Therapy/CBT for Couples
- Improving Communication:
The primary goal of CBT for couples is to help partners communicate more effectively, listen actively, and express their thoughts and feelings without fear or judgment. By improving communication, couples can better understand each other’s needs. - Rebuilding Trust and Emotional Connection:
CBT helps rebuild emotional intimacy and trust, particularly after trust has been broken or emotional distance has developed. Couples learn to foster empathy, express vulnerability, and support one another. - Changing Negative Thought Patterns:
By identifying and changing harmful cognitive distortions, partners can shift from blame or defensiveness to a more balanced, compassionate view of themselves and their relationship. - Enhancing Problem-Solving Skills:
Couples learn practical problem-solving skills to address current and future conflicts constructively. Instead of reacting with frustration or avoidance, partners develop techniques for collaborative decision-making and resolving issues calmly. - Reducing Conflict and Reactivity:
A key goal of therapy is to help couples manage their emotional responses to conflict, reducing escalation and improving emotional regulation. This allows partners to resolve conflicts more peacefully and constructively. - Strengthening Positive Behaviors and Interactions:
CBT encourages couples to increase positive interactions, such as showing appreciation, engaging in shared activities, and supporting one another’s goals. This helps to balance out negative interactions and strengthens the overall relationship. - Fostering Long-Term Relationship Satisfaction:
Ultimately, CBT for couples aims to foster long-term satisfaction, helping partners navigate future challenges with healthier communication, mutual respect, and shared goals. It empowers couples with the tools to maintain a fulfilling and resilient relationship.
Cognitive and behavioral approaches to couples therapy focus on making practical, observable changes in both thoughts and actions to improve the relationship. By working on both internal beliefs and external behaviors, couples can achieve healthier, more satisfying dynamics.
Whether you’re married, engaged, or just looking to strengthen your relationship, therapy can help you reconnect and avoid future pitfalls.
Take the first step toward a healthier, happier you.
Let’s work together to explore your mind and stuck behaviors, find solutions, and build the life you deserve. Reach out today! To make an appointment or get advice, contact me here
Explore the online services I offer
Want to explore psycho-educational articles?
Visit our Tools for Health & Wellness site where we attempt to move away from a focus on psychopathology and rather throw more light on the path to health. This site is designed to help you get quality advice on a wide range of physical and psychological health and wellness topics. It promotes the idea of creating broad-based health throughout your life, and acknowledges that in order to maximise happiness and reduce stress both your physical and psychological wellbeing need to be encouraged.
Tools for Health and Wellness is designed for everyone! It is intended for those of you doing really well in your lives and just looking to tweak one or two things to maximise this amazing life experience. Equally, it has been created for those of you who are currently struggling and are looking for more in-depth help with particular issues.
